Viruses You Never Knew Existed !!!
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

Adam and Eve Virus:  Takes a couple of bytes out of your
Apple Computer.



Federal Bureaucrat Virus:  Divides your hard disk into
hundreds of little units, each of which do practically
nothing, but all of which claim to be the most important
part of the computer.



Bill Clinton Virus:  Their is sumthing rong with your
compueter, ewe just can;t figyour out watt.



Gallup Virus:  Sixty percent of the PC's infected will lose
38% of their date 14% of the time (plus or minus a 3.5
margin of error).



Paul Revere Virus:  Revolutionary virus doesn't horse
around.  It warns you of impending hard disk attack   0 if
by LAN, twice if by C:



Politically Correct Virus:  Never calls itself a "virus",
but instead refers to itself as an "electronic
micro-organism".



Right To Life Virus:  Won't allow you to delete a file
regardless of how old it is.  If you attempt to erase a
file, it requires you first to see a counselor about
possible alternatives.



Ross Perot Virus:  Activates every component in your system,
right before the whole thing quits.



Mario Cuomo Virus:  It would be a great virus, but it
refuses to run.



Oprah Winfrey Virus:  Your 200 megabyte hard drive suddenly
shrinks to 80 megabytes, then slowly expands back to the
original 200 meg.



Ted Turner Virus:  Colorized your monochrome monitor.



Arnold Schwarzenegger Virus:  Terminates and stays resident.
It'll be back.



Government Economist Virus:  Nothing works, but all your
diagnostic software says everything is fine.



New World Order Virus:  Probably harmless, but it makes a
lot of people really mad just thinking about it.



Terry Randle Virus:  Yells "Oh no you don't" whenever you
choose "Abort" from the DOS message [Abort, Retry, Fail].



Texas Virus:  Makes sure that it is bigger than any other
file.



Michael Jackson Virus:  Hard to identify because it is
constantly altering its appearance.  This virus won't harm
your PC, but it will trash your car.



Congressional Virus:  The computer locks up, screen splits
erratically with a message appearing on each half blaming
the other side for the problem.



Airline Virus:  You're in Dallas, but your data is in
Singapore.



Freudian Virus:  Your computer becomes obsessed with
marrying its own motherboard.



PBS Virus:  Your PC stops every few minutes to ask for
money.



Elvis Virus:  Your computer gets fat, slow, lazy and then
self destructs, only to resurface at shopping malls and
service stations across rural America.



Ollie North Virus:  Turns your printer into a document
shredder.



Sears Virus:  Your data won't appear unless you buy a new
set of cables, power supply, set of shocks, and an extended
warranty.



Congressional Virus:  Runs every program on the hard drive
simultaneously, but doesn't allow the user to accomplish
anything.



Kevorkian Virus:  Helps your computer shut sown whenever it
wants to.



Imelda Marcos Virus:  Sings you a song slightly off-key as
you boot-up, then subtracts money through your Quicken
account and spends it all on expensive shoes on the Prodigy
computer shopping network.



Star Trek Virus:  Invades your system in places where no
virus has gone before.



Health Care Virus:  Tests your system for a day, finds
nothing wrong, and sends you a bill for $4,500.00.



Freudian Virus:  Becomes very jealous of the size of your
friend's hard drive.



Jimmy Hoffa Virus:  Your programs can never be found again.



LAPD Virus:  It claims it feel threatened by the other files
on your PC and erases them in "self-defense".



O.J. Virus:  It claims that it did not, could not and would
not delete two of your files and vows to find the virus that
did it.



Lorena Bobbit Virus:  Turns your hard disk into a 3.5
floppy.



Wood Allen Virus:  Bypasses the motherboard and turns on a
daughter card.



Tonya Harding Virus:  Uses a .BAT file to disable competing
programs.



Ronald Reagan Virus:  Saves your data, but forgets where it'
s stored.