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THE GUY WHO INVENTED THE WHEEL
A Sci-Fi Story by Ozzie Freedom
Once upon a time, on a far, far away planet, there was this guy who invented the wheel. Why "the" wheel? Ok, maybe I should say "a wheel".
Again: Once upon a time there was a guy who invented A wheel. Better now?
Before his time there was no wheel, you see? No wheel at all, of whichever kind, in the entire land. He invented it. He did, really.
Well, my friend, by now you're pretty sure that this guy was a caveman or a primitive or something of this sort.
No way!!
You see, in his land and time there was LOTS AND LOTS OF TECHNOLOGY. High technology. Very high. Factories and roads and ships and flying machines. Even automatic music players.
Even cars...
But, there were no wheels. Not even one... Nobody even thought of one in their wildest dreams. Yes, they were looking for solutions, you can bet on THAT.
Solutions for what?
Look, my friend, you are an intelligent reader. I know you are. So I don't have to tell you how a world without one single wheel looks like...
I'm sure you can imagine how hard it is to drive an automobile without wheels...
It's bumpy. Very bumpy. You see, not that they had no rims. They had rims on all their automobiles and their trucks and all of that. And it's not that they had no tires on those rims because they did. But the shape, the shape...
It was all... in hexagons.
For some unknown reason, this shape was the best they could think of. (How come? To say it simply, they were stupid on that particular subject.)
And whatever smooth road you could build, however perfectly smooth you paved it - the ride was...
You guessed it! Bumpy.
And the Bread4U truck didn't always make it on time with fresh bread, because the tires used to break every not-too-many miles.
Customers were pissed off. In that faraway land, you see, breakfast without fresh bread was... like, um, like a wedding without a bride and a groom, you know? Like a moonlit night without a moon (or two). Bread4U received lots of angry phone calls in those unfortunate mornings...
Industrious, hard working entrepreneurs who built beautiful bakeries and factories, had to live with anything from lack of sleep... to heart attacks...
Why?
Because the machines in their shining, highly sophisticated factories were working in less than optimal efficiency. And in those machines the cog wheels... well, not cog wheels, maybe, but "cog hex" or whatever name you want to call it... those cog hexes had a nasty tendency to crack and fall off, too often. Much too often.
Because they were not as round as they should have been.
Because engineers were never taught about wheels.
Because their teachers never heard of wheels.
Not optimal.
But nobody could think of a workable solution. These ethical, hard working entrepreneurs and their employees used to say to each other: "Guess we'd have to live with that; 'cause that's how machines are. They break down just when you need them most... that's life."
Bread4U Bakeries had to live with it. Pissed-off customers had to eat less-than-fresh bread (Oy vay!). Or skip breakfast. And everybody were losing time and money and 81.5% of their peace of mind.
AND THEN CAME SHMULIK.
So Shmulik came to these... Sorry, what'd you say? Who's Shmulik? It's the guy. The guy who invented the wheel. Ok, ok--A wheel.
So Shmulik came to these people and said he had found a solution to a great many of their problems.
A solution that would make it possible to deliver fresh bread to everybody's table, on time for breakfast. Not sometimes. Not if-everything-magically-went-right that morning. Always. EVERY single morning. A bread trucker's dream... A baker's profit relief...
A solution, said Shmulik, that will smoothen up their expensive machines. "Actually your machines will run so smooth," he said to them, "that you'll hardly need to touch them. Cogs will cease to crack and fall off," said the inventor. No more stress and head shrinkers and heart attacks.
Some people thought... no, they were sure, they were perfectly sure that he was absolutely nuts. Crazy. Taralala. He's one wheel short of a picnic, they laughed and lit up another cigar on their way to the golf game (same golf game as here on Earth, only with hex-shaped "balls"...)
Others, a small handful others of somewhat higher IQ, had only been considering his idea for a few seconds when their faces lit up: "Hey Shmulik, you're the genius of the land! How didn't we think of this before? Go for it, man, go and we're right behind you!"
"Go sell it to BMI (Business Machines Inc.) and become filthy rich overnight," suggested a few quick-buck geniuses.
Short-sighted geniuses... if such a thing even exists.
Unfortunately, thought Shmulik, I know exactly what BMI would do with my wheel idea. They would buy my blueprints, bury them deep inside the deepest drawer in the deepest file cabinet of their remote office down in Timbiktooz. And then...
...and then they will announce a twisted version of this invention. A twist that will make them even bigger and richer - but will provide little comfort for the hard working people...
"The Bread4U truck, as most other trucks, will now be able to move much faster than ever before," would explain BMI marketing director, Doctor Max Hexishloofen, to a bunch of sensation-hungry reporters. "…Which will enable them to sell more bread and make more money," says Hexishloofen, "and it will save them time and energy on their work-hard-until-you-drop daily chores."
But tires would still break. Angry phone calls from frustrated customers would still flood Bread4U's offices, even more so than before (due to higher expectations).
And machines would still cease their motion in the midst of an urgent production, because octagons -- or whatever similar (and very expensive) so-called "upgrades" -- will never compare to a simple, very simple indeed...
...stupid little wheel.
Stupid did I say? Well... I don't know. What do you think?
But Shmulik, unlucky for him, he was not born for the quick buck.
So Shmulik rolled up his sleeves, ready for a VERY hard work. As hard and as L--O--N--G as the longest night. For he knew what it would take to prevent the wheel from being buried for reasons of quick profit (or stupidity, or whatever). It would take no less hard work than it would take to move The White Mountain a hundred miles north...
No less.
You see, making the wheel a reality in a caveman's world is the easiest thing: they're hungry for technology that would make their life easier. They're hungry for tech, you know what I mean? They'll lick it off your hands. But in a technological world...
Well, that's another story entirely!
In a high-tech society the people are sort of fed up with so-called solutions. They've seen too much. They're too busy. They're too preoccupied to listen. I mean to REALLY LISTEN and to actually SEE a new workable solution when you show them one.
They're tired. Some are too overwhelmed to even consider any new thing...
Not good for new solutions. But fact.
Second but much bigger comes the monster. The monster called Vested Interests. You know people. They're different... Some will take anything that's crazy and weird, like evening sunglasses, or a square wheel... They'll even pay half their salary, just to own the new-new craze. To be special. To be first. So they would buy wheels (round ones, that is) from Shmulik or anybody else.
New stuff sells.
But not for long. Not too many days after the Vested Interest Monster would show up. Because this monster doesn't like new things. Both BMI, Cog Hex International, Hexagon Acme Inc. and a great many industry leaders, have INVESTED INTERESTS in keeping the hexagon business rolling.
They have invested many billions of Dollards (the ruling currency on Shmulik's planet) in manufacturing and marketing foolish hexagons. Ain't that wonderful?
Ain't that wonderful when you present double-faced businessmen with the blueprints to THE solution, whatever you came up with. "We'll think about it. Don't call us, we'll call you...", they'd say.
Or worse. "Your idea is excellent, but you see, we've already got one..."
Or even worse yet: "Hey, you've got a great thing there, young man. We'll buy it from your hands for the most generous sum of five hundred Dollards."
And then, when they have the blueprints, of course, killing the idea (deep drawer, Timbiktooz, remember?) is the very next thing you'll see. Or not see.
What do you do with THAT Problem, asked himself Shmulik.
For a great many nights he did not sleep. For a great many days he searched the land for people of great insight and foresight, those who foresee wheels.
But there were none.
No man, woman or child in a world full of hi-tech BUT NO WHEELS could even start to see wheels.
Any wheel at all.
You could talk to them for hours until you were blue in the face. You could talk to them about big wheels, small wheels, machinery wheels -- they could not see a clear picture there. When Shmulik would try to draw a crooked sketch of a wheel on a napkin in the cafe', they could not understand what they were looking at.
Or worse -- they would get the wrong idea.
How stupid can one get?
A sophisticated presentation with 16.7 million colors didn't do much better. The people, good people, very good people indeed, could not see how a wheel could be made AND USED. And none could see how a wheel, even if you made one, could survive under the crushing boots of BMI and company.
For Shmulik, the most terrible experience was talking to his own kind - engineers... Yes, you know who I'm talking about: those engineers who were never taught a wheel was possible. Or worse off, were taught that wheels are an impossible dream reserved as the luxury of sheer lunatics.
These engineers, as young and "open minded" as they could be, Shmulik found to his deepest dismay, were the least likely to partner him on his way to create a wheel industry. What a drag!
The better engineers they were, the least they could see a wheel as a reality.
And why so?
Because, simply because, they have learned so much about hex-shaped wonders, that they could not see any other wonder. If your theory is so wonderful, they asked Shmulik, then why don't they teach it in The Great University of Kiwanopolis?
"It's NEW, that's why!!" was not a good enough answer... It's like that; EDUCATED but BLIND people populate not only Planet Earth, but Shmulik's planet as well, you see?
Oddly enough, the more educated the engineers were, the bigger a laugh they gave when they realized that this man was SERIOUS about his invention, so serious that he wouldn't listen to REASON: wheels are a stupid, unreachable dream.
Shmulik tried to argue that his wheel invention is possible if only they would give it a chance. Some engineers tried. But machines with wheels were too weird. Can't go. Never will.
Many more sleepless nights went by. The inventor was tired but never discouraged. He continued conversation with the stupid and with the wise. He talked to Government and to street people.
And then one bright morning...he switched.
He now switched from looking for a wheel - which was the simpler part - to looking for a solution that will make the wheel a reality in a world DEAF AND BLIND TO WHEELS.
In a world that has seen too much.
One day he found one. In a flash. Boom. "Ahha! That's how you do it!", shouted Shmulik within himself.
The solution was so immense, so much greater than he's ever seen or heard before, that the young inventor was startled to his bones... And he was afraid he'd lose the solution as fast as he gained it.
"Fast! Think fast! What do I do now?"
Before you could blink an eye, he grabbed the nearest piece of scrap paper and started rolling down his solution. He disregarded the chores of the day as much as he could. He took every possible minute off. The words rolled on paper like skates on smooth ice.
The paper was full. Shmulik grabbed another piece of scrap paper and continued to write like mad.
After three days and three nights, the document was done...
It looked awful.
Pieces of scrap paper of all sizes, shapes and colors, were glued to each other like a clown's notebook. Blue and yellow and green, even white... But this funny notebook contained a documented solution, Shmulik's own SOLUTION to his own self-made quest: HOW to make wheels a reality in a world that wouldn't listen anymore.
The inventor, now that he had the essence of the matter in a more or less safe place, then sat down to create a detailed, organized and fully worked-out plan.
Was he eventually able to make it? Did the Bread4U truck eventually ride on ROUND wheels, for a change, so the people could finish a truly delicious breakfast on time?? Was this the end of heart attacks and waste and puzzlement?
You don't know the answers.
Or maybe you do! I owe you the credit. You have been intelligent enough, patient enough and open minded enough to get here and stay with me all the way through. You must know a thing or two that most others don't.
Because I can say with 99.9% accuracy, that none of your friends, colleagues or teachers knows the answers. Present them with this story and you'll see the most amazing things happening.
Because if they knew, you see, our own planet would be a better place.
Now, back to an unfinished story...
You can find out today how the story ends. Email me:
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